How to have a successful inter-racial relationship

If you’ve heard people criticise inter-racial relationships or assume they can’t succeed, don’t believe them. Inter-racial relationships can endure and thrive. At its core, an inter-racial relationship is just that, a relationship. Start by focusing on what’s linked to contentment in relationships. Thankfully, relationship science offers some insights here. On the whole, couples who create more enjoyable, bonded moments together and reduce the number of disconnected, difficult moments are more likely to have a stronger, more successful relationship.

However, we would miss something very important if we were to end the conversation here, because research shows that inter-racial couples are more likely to face disapproval than many same-race couples. So what ideas can inter-racial couples draw on from relationship research to approach and cope with this?

1. Reflect on and talk about difference in culture and race even if it may not seem important to you at first. As individuals, we’re all shaped by our experiences of race and culture, so for inter-racial couples, there are going to be meaningful differences in each partner’s life experience (both past and present) that deserve to be addressed.
   
2. In the face of social judgment, some inter-racial couples may tend to play down differences between them, but differences aren’t unhealthy or problematic. Instead, couples might want to consider respecting what makes them different from each other and treating these differences as an opportunity for discovery.
   
3. There are a variety of ways couples can work together in figuring out how they’re going to address prejudice toward their relationship. For example, couples may find comfort in reaching out and connecting with people who approve of their bond. Some couples choose to directly address social resistance by challenging biased views in a calm and composed manner, whereas others prefer not to pay attention to negative reactions.

No matter how inter-racial couples address race, culture, and the environment around them, what’s most important is for partners to communicate and listen to each other as they remain mindful of what truly works for them.

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