I'm scared of judgement, should I hide my relationship?

Considering that this is a complex issue, the most truthful answer I can give you is: It depends.

Every couple faces a unique situation and this will determine which decision is ultimately less difficult for them. But neither option is easy. According to relationship research, no matter whether a couple keeps their relationship a secret or they face social stigma, each situation presents its own demands and challenges. For example, there’s a lot of work involved in hiding a relationship all while trying to continue that relationship. Secrecy feels stressful and robs couples of pockets of support in society they might be able to find if they were more open. Likewise, covering up a relationship could prevent people from enjoying support they might not think exists among their family and friends. Sometimes couples anticipate disapproval from loved ones and are pleasantly surprised to find out they were wrong.

At the same time, couples can also be quite accurate in anticipating criticism and resistance, and if a couple brings their relationship to light, the opposition they face can be tough. And this is where “it depends” really applies. Depending on the kind of social and familial responses a couple expects to confront, they may feel like secrecy is harder despite the challenges they’d face out in the open.

On the other hand, a couple may look at the situation before them and realize that the path of secrecy is not only less painful and risky, it’s far safer. In the end, there’s no right or wrong in a couple’s decision whether or not to conceal their relationship. The only wrong here is the opposition that forces many couples to have to make this choice at all.