How do I know if my relationship is worth fighting for?
The answer to this question is a deeply personal one that only you can resolve. In the end, it’s only you and your partner who have to face the outcome of whatever decision you reach. Here are a few questions I invite you to give yourself time and space to consider:
- What qualities do you appreciate and love in your partner?
- Assuming you don’t change anything about your partner, can you accept them as they are now?
- How do you feel with your partner most of time? Are there many more good times than bad between you two? Relationship research shows this is a meaningful factor in the condition of a relationship.
- Does your partner feel like the right person for you, or would you have concerns even if there were no social disapproval of your relationship?
- If a part of you wants to fight for the relationship, why would you want to do that? If a part of you wants to step away rather than fight for it, why would you want to do that? Allow yourself to think about each of these questions if they both apply.
- If you don’t fight for your relationship and allow it to end, how would you feel? Would you regret it, or would you feel sad but ultimately know you did the right thing?
- What kinds of reactions have you faced because of your relationship? What kind of treatment do you believe you will encounter in the future?
- If the social reactions you’ve already experienced to your relationship were to continue, or if the responses you’re anticipating were to happen, would you be willing to accept this?
- Will reactions to your relationship place you or your partner in danger? If so, is there a way to find safety, and are you willing to take steps to ensure that you and your partner will be safe?
- On balance, do the benefits of staying with your partner feel like they outweigh any challenges, or do the challenges overshadow the advantages of remaining together?
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