A Piece of Advice

How to be more self-confident while in a relationship?

2 mins. read

Topics: Inter-racial,Inter-caste,Inter-class,Inter-Faith,Age Gap,Starting Out,Dating,Getting Serious

It takes a lot of courage to open your heart to someone. As relationship experts have noted, being in a relationship and getting closer to your partner means allowing yourself to take chances that leave you exposed to possible heartbreak. For example, if you decide to tell your partner you love them, they may reciprocate. But it’s also possible that your partner might tell you they don’t feel the same way. And for people with lower self-worth, experts suggest that it’s harder to be vulnerable and take those sorts of chances.

So how can you enhance how you feel about yourself in a relationship? Research offers a couple of ideas that may feel useful:

  1. Use self-compassion: According to expertly work, there are three parts to self-compassion. First, speak to yourself with kindness and understanding. Second, when you’re having a tough time or when you’ve made a misstep, remember you’re not alone – everyone faces such moments. Third, notice your thoughts and feelings without becoming entirely engrossed (i.e., concentrating on them excessively) or evading them (i.e., trying to keep away from them). Relationship scientists have found a connection between people giving themselves greater compassion and being more tolerant and understanding of their own and their partner’s shortcomings.
  2. Reflect on your partner’s appreciation for you: A study asked participants who were in a relationship to recall a time when they were praised by their partner, and write down the underlying reason for this praise and the importance of it for them personally and as a couple. Afterward, the participants felt more self-confident. Two weeks later, further evidence showed that those individuals continued to hold onto their partner’s praise from that memory, treating them as a signal of their partner’s current feelings about them. Although this single exercise alone won’t lead to lasting, improved self-confidence, it’s a good starting point.

Be patient with yourself. Elevating your relationship with yourself is a process. The very fact you’re aspiring to feel better about yourself in a relationship is meaningful, and I wish you all the best as you step forward toward this worthwhile aim.

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Did You Know

46% of youths fear discrimination or public shame when in an unconventional relationship.